What is this site all about?
It is about you and perhaps the best way to You is that I first share a bit about me and you might find that we are alike.
My name is Marco and there was a pivotal moment in my life where I could no longer stand my nine-to-five job because of the unethical actions going on there, when a mixture of cowardice, opportunism and nepotism among my superiors and colleagues wanted me to just throw up day after day after day. I looked into the mirror and I did not like what I saw there. I did not like what I heard inside my head . I did not like the foul taste in my mouth or the constant turning of the knot I had for a stomach. What had happened? When had I stopped to be alive and started to simply survive? When had I started walking down the road so eloquently called burnout when you reduce yourself to a mindless drone, when you only function but do no longer listen to the beat of your heart and you no longer recognize your own voice or your own face? When had I become the fool in someone else´s dream? The questions came hammering down in my head and stabbed me in the heart at the same time. My work had consumed me whole, chewed me up and spit me out again. To make it worse it had become a habit of mine to let it happen and it took blatant actions of disrespect and lies to make me finally realize it.
Once this torch had lit up I drew a line in the sand that said: “No further. I deserve better than this. A single statement but the first one in a long time that I really believed in, that really touched my heart, unknotted my gut, straightened my back. Yes, the heart was beating again afterwards and not rattling with stress and fear like a sewing machine.
Yes, I had really given myself up at that point and forgotten myself.
And the worst thing was that I should have known better because through the things I had done and the knowledge I had acquired – shamanism, runic wisdom, Tarot cards, alternative healing - through what I had dismissed and pushed aside as a hobby or minor interest I would have had the means to do it totally different. I just had no realized or forgotten that power.
From there I took it back, one day at a time.
Fast Forward a few months what I got was not a suitcase full of self-replicating bank notes but something much more precious. By embracing my abilities that I had not used before but buried under daily routines I got back my connection to life, I stepped out of my isolation into a world that to my total astonishment was bristling with like-minded people where fair exchange happened, where all for one and one for all happened. It was the water and fire of life that came back and the realization that all gloomy thinking and stomach-turning rehearsals of self-defeating self talk was just the absence of life happening, the fact f being lived rather than living. That water and fire of life came slowly one drop falling after the other and one spark adding to the other. As the chalice filled and the flame grew I realized that there was really a desperate need to get these blessings out into the world. I felt so much lighter and brighter every time I could talk to someone who understood, sometimes giving wisdom, sometimes receiving it and always on a fair base that required no words. I wanted to be part of this story of getting the word that you can steal the fire of the gods.
If you feel like you are in the hamster wheel too where you run and run and run and get nowhere except where you want, my want to be part of getting out the story that it is possible is for you.
If the millstones in your head still turn, trying to figure out what you want and what you are here for, my want to be part of getting out the story that it is possible is for you.
If you exist but cannot feel your heart beating with excitement anymore, my want to be part of getting out the story that it is possible is for you.
The sites name is taken from Norse mythology where Iduna´s apples grant eternal youth to the gods and goddesses of Asgard. They give life and give life back.
This is a place where you can find someone to walk beside you on the road back to yourself.
Feel safe – safe of judgment too.
If you decide to leave without making contact, feel free to leave a comment anyway and if you prefer contact rather through email than through zoom please use the email function. Whatever you decide maybe you want to take the following with you. It is not a quote by Nelson Mandela to whom it is often attributed to but it is a truth that I struggled so hard with that I know now it is true:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are weak. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world ... As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
(Marianne Williamson from „ A Return To Love”)
This site and everything it might bring forth is dedicated to: the Golden Sorceress from Asgard and Vanaheim and to the One who hung on the world tree for us for nine days and nine nights. When I´m in a deep pit I remember the He did not give up on the eight day…